Chicago – May 04, 2025
Saturday Night Live opened in the Oval Office, where Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) was joined by Stephen Miller (Mikey Day) to sign a slew of new executive orders.
Among them: An order to “make it socially acceptable for a man in his 70s to date a 24 year old.”
“We’re calling it the Belichick law,” Trump explained. “We’re going to make girlfriends young again, OK. Old men can now date far younger women.”
“We like that. It’s hot. But in reverse, it’s quite disgusting, right?”
The quip was a reference to Bill Belichick, 73, the University of North Carolina head coach who is dating Jordon Hudson, 24.
The cold open was a return to familiar territory, but understandable given the way that Trump has dominated the news in his first months in office.
The skit opened with Trump boasting of signing 147 executive orders so far, “everything from banning paper straws to defunding PBS. I understand Elmo has now been apprehended by ICE brought to you by the letter L for El Salvador. He’s not coming back.”
Trump then introduced Miller as “lord of the shadows,” and Day played the White House deputy chief of staff as unusually creepy.
As absurd as some of the executive orders sounded, in some cases they are not far off from reality.
Making an appearance in the sketch was Marco Rubio (Marcello Hernandez), as Trump signed an executive order forbidding all Hispanic babies from getting their ears pierced.
“I mean, we got grown white American tweens trying to get into Claire’s, and they gotta wait behind a thousand tiny Latina babies to get their ears pierced,” Trump said.
The sketch ended with Trump signing an executive order to shorten the word “recession.”
Trump said, “Recession will now be called recess. Fun, right? So America, get ready for a historically long recess.”
